So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
