there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
