Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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