the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
