why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
