I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
