I think I won the penis lottery.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
