why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
