so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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