did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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