"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
