I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
