this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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