hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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