I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
