Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
