she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
why is half of my head shaved?
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