He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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