I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we're so committed to being not committed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
