I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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