i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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