i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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