i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
