All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
A+ Viking dick
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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