No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
