He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize