Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
