she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
