I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
