So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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