she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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