I bet he comes in French.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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