They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
