Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
