my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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