She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We need a shit load of segways right now
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
