All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
