You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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