Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
