Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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