i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
