Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
