I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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