I don't think brook has ever known best
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
