That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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