He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
