thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
