hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize