these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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