no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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