question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
