What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
