you would pick up someone in the library
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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