I wannas sexs uuuuu
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
