we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
