Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
