Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
