you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
