We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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